Secretos Latino

After a crazy holiday season of getting married at Vizcaya, excessive partying at Bardot in my wedding dress (oh Oscar please forgive me!), Brazilian Reveillon (new years eve), xmas en Prea Beach, Fortaleza, I am here to report I have THREE new amazing miami eateries. Of course, both latin cuisines.

The first one is Salmon Salmon, not in the jazziest part of town, but way worth it . No lines, no hassles, no posh, just great reliable peruvian food. Not cheap but very fair. Make sure to order the ceviche, the tacu tacu, the frito mixto, papa a la huancaina, the lomo salteado. This spot is great for carnivores, seafood lovers, and vegetarians. Only bad thing is that you will wake up with some serious morning breath after a Salmon Salmon meal- Even if you brush your teeth before going to sleep (Must admit I dont always do that...shhhh! )

Another killer spot i recently came across is Talavera, in the heart of Coral Gables. This upscale Mexican (no TexMex BS) spot makes a mean margarita, vuelve a la vida (ceviche in red sauce , straight from Veracruz, MX), tacos al pastor, Nopales ( a delicious tangy cactus salad), and Huarache (a house specialty corn masa dish). Huarache is the Mexican word for sandal. So you are actually eating a sandle shaped corn meal dish topped with either meat or shrimp or chicken or just veggies. Absolutely delectable!

Finally, King Kone on Alton Road. Not exactly "Latino" because it is technically Japanese. However, it's run by Brazilians and I discovered it in Rio de Janeiro. Then 2 weeks later, by a magical coincidence, they opened near Lincoln Road. So for blog purposes, its Latino. King Kone is a strictly handroll Japanese restaurant. They have all types of handrolls. My fave is the salmon, masago and chives one. I advise you to steer clear of the small/mini hand rolls, only order the regular or large size. The small ones taste like cardboard! YUCK.

They also have killer sweet waffle cones, filled with fruit and nutella. Not very Japanesy, but hey nutella is a universal wonder. Some negatives: bad music, bad soy sauce serving squirts, and not the greatest lighting. They sill have some loose ends to figure out, so I'm not sure how long the heat will last? Get your handrolls while they're still cold!

Sobitch says: Finger Lickin Good!

Brazil Muleki

I want to report on one my top trips yet ~ Brazil Muleki. I went to Brazil on my honeymoon this past December.

We started in Fortaleza in a small town called Prea. Let me just preface you with the notion that there are no roads here. To travel, you have to take a sand buggy that drives on the beach. The closest “city” to Prea is called Jeri, which basically has no real floor. It’s all on sand. Homes have sand inside. Stores have sand inside. Restaurants are on top of the sand. And by sand, I don’t mean beachfront Miami prime time property. I mean that literally the city is just on sand, no asphalt, NADA. No shoes allowed either. I can't imagine what their beds feel like?

The reason we came to Prea was to kitesurf. Warm water, clean waves, and sick downwinders for miles and miles. We stayed at this amazing hotel called Rancho do Peixe. It was a half ranch, half beach bungalow spot. Absolutely amazing.
WARNING: there were frogs in the toilet. I was a bit stunned by that, but the hotel’s answer was “well frogs do like fresh water.” So I made peace with the frogs and did my business. I have to confess, I would always flush them down the toilet before getting started.




After 3 kite days, we left the beach jungle for Rio de Janeiro. Talk about an amazing city! Surrounded by Favelas, mountains, beaches, and metropolis. In a normal city, you have different areas with different vibes. In Rio, you have different beach lifeguard stations that represent this eclectic city. Lifeguard station# 9 is where the hottie tottie celebs hang out. Station 6, more of a family crowd. Station 5 is the gay scene. Kind of like the table scene at lunch in high school.

Beside the beaches, you have Favelas. We visited the largest favela in the world: Rocinha, tax free living. We walked in from the bottom of the favela (favelas usually sit on mountains, with homes stacked up the mountain) and ate the most authentic Brazilian meal. There were 14 year olds walking around with AK 47s and all types of guns. (I am not a big gun connoisseur, so I couldn’t tell you what they were really holding, but they could kill.) Young kids selling drugs on the street, taxi drivers on motorcycles with guns hanging on their necklaces, MAYHEM? Yes and No. There is no crime within the favela (all crime takes place outside). Favela residents are singing and rapping Brazilian hippy hop. Believe it or not the favela had hidden surveillance cameras. The minute you walk in, the chief knows you are there. They have electricity, power, and heat, all without paying taxes. Not too shabby..



Some amazing restaurants to note in Rio are: Casa de Feijoada, Oasis Churrasceria, Aprazivel, the restaurants in Leblon, King Kone (just opened recently in Miami), and Botequin Informal (fine beer spot).

Unfortunaly we didn’t get a chance to visit Buzios, but that is next on the wish list.

Last stop: Florianopolis. This place is so over rated. It is filled with Miami wanna be’s, backpackers, and cover charge. Kind of like a Tamarindo, Costa Rica with Ibiza apirations. They have a few roads and too many tourists, so the traffic is brutal. The partying is good, but you can run into the cheesy transy stuff. The food, shameful! Sobitch no likey, clearly.

Highly recommend Brazil. Top country, easy, in South America.

SoSappy

SoBitch is going to try something different. In a way it is very Sobitchy because its honest. However the topic is a bit unexpected.

Below is my MEMO to all my readers about life and love.

• Believe in love. Believe you deserve it.
• Love heals.
• Do not resist love, it will find you anyway and nip you in the ass.
• Understand that love is a journey and can get bumpy. So keep your fights clean and your sex dirty!
• Realize that half the time you are ripping on someone else, it is most likely a projection of the things you do not like about yourself.
• Don’t let things go because you are scared or not “ready.” Don't be a pussy! Sometimes it takes jumping in to get where you want to get.
• Fall in love with someone’s soul, not their image. It's very easy to add a little cool, it’s not so easy to add what counts. (penis!)
• Have fun with your mate: be natural, get dirty, travel when you can. Spend all your money on each other!
• Let yourself be happy. It doesn’t always have to be dramatic and complicated.
• Go on your honeymoon BEFFORE and AFTER the wedding! You need a darn vacation due to planning a wedding, and of course should get a little getaway afterwards. A pre-wedding Honeymoon also helps detach from Bridezilla. WARNING: Even the coolest of them all go BRIDE BONKERS!


Mazel Mazel , Good Things.