Home Cookin

omg omg omg orgasm... I just experienced the most exquisite culinary experience in my existence. It all started with thrillist, when my friend Marc (with a C) send me the link to this "restaurant." Being that I am the food snob, I put it on my to-do list. So 3 weeks later, I got to it. Not thinking much about it, I followed the link and made a reservation. This "restaurant" is a very loving chef's home- Chef Alan.

Since I am naive and curious (some say I have ass everywhere syndrome), I booked it. It wasn’t until I was driving there, that I realized this idea can go very sour. For all I know, I can get killed or raped or abducted. I am heading to a stranger’s house with 2 bottles of wine, and in 2 hours can potentially find myself sliced up. Despite, my scary hallucinations, I walked in, and entered a foodie's heaven.

The chef greeted us so kindly. He made us feel right at home. Then he began his masterpiece. He cooked:
Wahoo Crudo with Homegrown Arugula, Shaved Fennel and Smoked Tomato Vinaigrette
Duck Confit wrapped in Endives with Charred Apples and Caramelized Garlic
Red Roasted Mahi with Asian Coconut Broth and Seared Shiitakes
Ile Flotant and Passion Fruit Soup

We literally sat in his living room, watching him. If it were warmer we would have sat outside in his garden under a tipee table. Every dish was made fresh on the spot. Herbs were grown in his veggie garden in. A true digestion of passion.

Ya'll are very luck I am sharing this. Make sure to visit:
http://chefalanhughes.com/services/#2

Magic KingDUMP

DisNOT! i had to go to Orlando for work this past week, and let me tell you Disney gives me the heeby geebies. Its so plastic, oversized, artficial, and overpriced. Don't get me wrong Walt knew what he was doing when he built that empire, and its great for the kids, but it sure aint for SoBitch. I feel almost guilty saying this out loud, i mean who hates disney? that is a true sign of pessimism. i should be ashamed of myself. if i have any disNOT followers, speak up now, so i know im not alone!

Suck on DisNuts!

Joyas Japonesas

The Japanese Market is the freshest sushi counter in No Mi Beach, Normandy Isle!

Make sure to call and reserve your spot at the counter a few hours before.
www.japanese-market.com
1412 79th Street Causeway
Miami Beach, FL 33141
(305) 861-0143
10:00-7:00 PM Mon- Sat
12:00-6:00 Sun



Order their handrolls, especially the scallion handroll! The chef toasts the seaweed and makes every bite soo crunchy! Get courageous, relinquish control, and let the chef serve you his freshest selection. I think fish delivery is on Thursdays, so that may be the best day to go.

They sell beef for Sukiyaki and Shabushabu, ribs, sausage, ground meat, and cow tongue. Black pork loin is their specialty, YUMMY. Aside from their nasty selection of Japanese meats, they have these great gummy Japanese candies called HI-CHEW, frozen gyoza, all types of noodles and rices (Kagayaki, Tamaki-mai, Akitaotome, and Koshihikari). They even sell Japanese beauty products, but their selection was rather unattractive.

Another dementedly amazing spot is Hiro's Yakossan.
Hiro's Yakko-San
17040-46 West Dixie Highway
North Miami Beach, FL 33160
Tel 305.947.0064
Sun-Thu 6pm-2am
Fri-Sat 6pm-3am

This is the most authentic Japanese restaurant in the area. They features home cooking and Japanese tapas, so you can try a lot of very different menu options. I suggest you go with a group so you can really endulge in all the eccentricities. I start with the salmon sashimi salad, fried Chrysanthemums, and deep-fried Bok Choy. Followed by the catch of the day,which you hand pick yourself, which is then fried served in bite size chunks with a stellar ponzu dipping sauce. You will always find chefs eating here,which to me is a great sign. Not to mention they are opened late night, so there aint no rush! Lines and prices are average and very managable.
~Sayonara~

Enjoy my complementary Japonese Dictionary:

Party Hardy

Lets talk Parties. Everyone wants to have fun, but nobody likes the prep time. So i am presenting a few solutions to throwing killer gatherings/parties/get togethers. In no particular order, these spots work for all types of parties; young/old, cheap/lavish, tame/wild. BOTTOM'S UP!

Let's start with Lou's Beer Garden. I'd say they have the most unique selection of beers in town, solid pub grub, open air vibrations, and a killer setup for a low-key hipster fiesta.


The next spot is the old and sophisticated Miami Beach Surf Club.
This place looks like an old orfanage, where the floors creek and the women wear knee high stockings that show at the helm of their skirts. The club's glittering early parties hosted world famous personalities such as the Duke and Duchess of Windsor, Douglas Fairbanks, Jr., and General Douglas MacArthur. Other early guests include Winston Churchill. I actually checked this spot out for our wedding, but it wasn't the right fit. Do not be confused, this place is a dumpy old school country club, but with a tasteful selection of cocktails,swanky tunes, and the right crowd, you can bring its dusty charm back to life milk and honey NYC style...

The Garden Lounge, former home of the my Mr. and Mrs. Extravaganza is my most magical gardenesque venue. Bring your friends, your tunes, your booze, and all other necessary accessories for an bamboo-rific time.

Mall Madness

For those of you Aventorture residents, you will surely appreciate this interesting anectode. So as some of you may know, I recently wedded. This means I have now embarked on a one year relationship with Bloomigdales, William Sonoma, Pottery Barn, Restoration Hardware, ect. My weekends will be spent writing thank you cards, learning to use an expresso machine, returning and exchanging broken and/or ugly merchandise, and all other sorts of housewife activities.

When i walked into Aventura Mall i was shocked to see how few stores from my childhood still remain (I am an 80s kid). I can say with confidence that the only old school stores are Bebe, Cache, Gap, Wet Seal, Sears, Macys, and JCPenny. Oh how i miss Anika and Hughie! "Treats" is not what we were once accustomed to. The only familiar face was Sarku Japan, yummy to those free teriyaki chicken samples. What happened to the Potatoe sack? Mama B's Pizzeria? Mario's? Thank goodness for Hagen Daz's loyalty.

All my childhood memories are gone. Damn the new shops that exist in all other malls across America. Damn you Barneys (terrible Barneys Coop selection), Damn you JCrew, Damn you M.A.C. (Thank you Forever 21 and Urban Outfitters-SoBitch pick of the new mall). And the saddest of all is that in all this change, there aint a damn decent thing to eat in that god foresaken mall.

Since I got you on the shopping kick, here are few of Sobitch's shop spots:

-The Webster (only the intelligent visit during their 80% sale)
-C Madeline
-On My Own (cant beat their basics and their prices)
-Citrine By the Stones Jewelry Boutique
-I on the District
-Oxygen
-Sebastien James (great for men work clothes)
-Steven Allen online (for men)
-Shopbop.com
-Topshop.com
-CB2 (lincoln road)
-Brownes Beauty (Beauty products and Salon)
-Standard Spa (overpriced Beauty products)
-Letterheads (stationary/specialty giftshop)