Does it get woodsy in here?

As promised, I am here to report my camping experience. Planning to leave Sobe at noon, we obviously dont get our act together until about 3pm. We head Southwest on US-1, thinking were going to get to marshy, swampy, woodsy territory. Little did we know, our camping experience turns out to be a trip to a trailer park/retirement community/lesbian commune. It was such an odd arrival, I had to ask Dollie the receptionist, “Does it get woodsy in here?”

I bet some of you are even shocked that SoBitch would want woodsy? Well guess what, SoBitch doesn’t criticize because she is a little princess. Sobitch gets pissed when things are falsly advertised- not because she likes to complain, but because she actually likes to get down and dirty!
So we arrive to this “Miami Everglades Campground” campsite, and we check into our 16person bunk. It was more like a slumber party for overgrown kids than camping. We didn’t even bust out our mosquito repellent.

This is what I consider woodsy:


This is what we got:



It turned out to be a hella funny time, but boy was it not what we expected. We did have a great bonfire, where we actually managed to scare ourselves into a tizzy. This place was eerie! My friend claims he was being followed by these kids late at night. He walked back to the cabin to get something, and he noticed there was someone behind him. When he'd turn around, the flashlights would suddenly turn off and the kids would back up and lean on the fence in pure darkness. There were lots of “working snowbirds”(snowbirds who travel the country working in these campgrounds - is that really a career path?), really pale freaky kids, and a weird group of 40-somes playing volleyball (see picture above). It was the oddest mix of heads.

So enough negativity. Here are a couple camping ideas to pass the time and have some fun. PLAY CELEBRITY: this is kind of like sharades. Draw some names out of a hat and act out a celebrity. We made it more like identity, because we included all types of ppl. Here are some character that make for a good time:

So what’s the moral of the story? SoBitch is here to tell you, next time you go camping, skip the whole cabin/motel thing. Get yourself a true tent, bug spray, a wild firepit, and play CELEBRITY. Go on, get woodsayyyy!

Indi Go

So last night yours truly hit up Bardot. I gotta say that's my favorite spot right now in the emerald city. True to Miami form, they started with the bouncer bullshit and the cover charge to park crap, and of course table service. Though I cannot sit here and criticize the whole table buying bizness, cuz I actually purchased a bottle last night. So I apologize to all you bottle heads that I used to make fun of and use your table to get free drinks. At least I shared the wealth, giving back for all those times.

One thing I will say is a shame, is that with all this table service, I don't get around to trying all their specialty drinks. Before Bardot became all table-y, we used to stand by the bar and buy these cool looking cocktails. One in particular I really enjoyed was the honey mule. It reminded me of something my mother would give me when I had a sore throat- honey, ginger, some sort of soda/tonic water, mint, and of course vodka (I think). They served them in these chilled copper mugs. SoBitch didn’t like how slow the bar service was. Those indi looking bartenders made you wait forever to get your damn drink on.
Speaking of cocktails, it seems to me Bardot was inspired by these NYC bars: milk and honey and Little Branch. Try these loungy spots next time you are in the city.

The funny thing about Bardot is the crowd. Its like all these indi hipsters came our of their cage! They finally have a place to play. Where did they come from, because you didn’t really see them out on the East part of town? So there's a nice mix of heads- artsy fartsies and south beach goers. When you walk in there is a live band playing in the middle of the bar. Last night there was this amazing singer, and even better she had this fan that really rocked out. This fan had some sweet dance moves- she was a 2010 Woodstock reincarnation. Super sexy. I love to dance, so I really admire when people can get down like her. Though I cannot dance like her. Maybe Ill take some dance lessons, and blog about that… hmmm??

Another cool spot is Churchhills. It definitely has a trashy ugly vibe, but has live music and killer fish and chips. Very respectable selection I might add. For all you gentlemen who enjoy English footie, check this spot out, especially now with the world cup this summer. The unfortunate truth is no pretty girls hang out at Churchhills. Like I said, it has an ugly vibe. But then again, this is Miami. All it takes is for some cool dude to just change his tracks, and the rest will follow.

So once upon a time someone said to me the scene is about who can get most fucked up. You know who you are out there, and you are so very right. The more fucked up you get, the cooler it seems you are in this town.

I’m off camping in the everglades, so stay tuned. I have had great feedback from my readers, and I really encourage your opinions. Yes I can take the heat, otherwise I wouldn’t be in the kitchen

Bring it!

SoBitch

SoBitch Intro

This is my first time ever blogging. Some may get annoyed at what I have to say, but I have been told I am the world's best critic, aka "Rupert." I tend to be viciously critical, some even say negative. But on the other hand, when I like I lovvvee!

My intention is to share my likes and dislikes with all of you on food, fashion, nightlife, and travel. Since traveling is my ultimate passion, I jump on any chance I get to take a trip, especially if I have a friend at the destination. So I plan on sharing my experiences and itineraries with you, sort of as “paying it forward”. Karma….


I am a Colombian chick who grew up in Miami, and currently lives in South Beach. So I’ll start with a few SoBe restaurants. For the most part, they blow. There are good ones, but the ratio of good to bad is like negative.

I’ll have to say Joes Stone Crabs is my fave restaurant out here. Even if you don’t like crabs, you can enjoy fresh fish, an awesome salad, killer creamed spinach, chopped tenderloin (fancy word for carb-free burgers) and their fried chicken. I hear they have a sweet lobster roll, but I am hesitant to try it . Not because I don’t trust, but simply because I have too many things I like. I cannot imagine, sparing one of my choices for the lobster roll. Always make sure to order Joe's Vinaigrette, it changes everything for the better! Tip: If you dont have any pull at Joe's, feel free to do the takeaway, spare yourself the greasing fee and the 20% tip
Its only fitting I now give a shout-out to what I consider the most amazing lobster roll out there - Pearl Oyster Bar (Mary’s Fish Camp coming in 2nd place) in the W Village, NYC!

Now for another little treasure: Le Sandwicherie . This is a sexy street countertop shop, with hot french waiters (hot tempered and dead sexy), who make a damn good sandwich and on either baguette or croissant. (I hear their croque monsieur is pretty good though I haven’t tried it yet.) They have this killer french vinaigrette, adding a delicious tang to their sandwiches. If you don’t wanna deal with french body odor, they are one of the few good restaurants that deliver, fairly quickly and accurately I must add.

Im not going to bore you with Miami scoop only. I will blog about food, travel, shopping in many different countries. In fact in the last few weeks I have had the luxury to travel to LA, Jamaica, NYC, and in a few days Brazil. So stay tuned and you will get Sobitch’s free city guides regularly.


Namaste Bitches,

xx Sobitch